That's intense
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
