I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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