grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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