So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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