i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
