I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
