i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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