We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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