I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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