Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
how drunk are you?
Several
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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