oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
