She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
