can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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