I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
