When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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