he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
