guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
