Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My balls are so social today.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
