I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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