so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
