Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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