told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
