Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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