Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
