During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
