Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
