But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
