i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
