there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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