I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
