Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
a search helicopter?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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