I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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