As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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