all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
