then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
