fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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