Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
