I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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