my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
