it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
