drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
