you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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