Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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