Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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