Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
