Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
