Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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