dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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