I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
