I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
